Ritika
One hour ago
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On opening the first page of the old diary, the page of life was opened. She opened the diary and kept a pen in the middle of the diary and started thinking that maybe Milan would write her name on that page. After thinking for a few moments, he got up from the chair by trapping the pen in the middle of the diary. She got up from the chair and stood up.
He asked fearfully, “What is the matter, Milan?” That is Charu. A junior clerk in a bank.
Without hearing anything, Milan left the room. He was a cashier. Charu was in love with her for a long time. She didn’t know how much Milan liked her, but she did know that he is as eager to meet Charu as she is.
‘Maybe he must have remembered the work of the boss, so he got up and left,’ Charu thought. Not knowing what he was writing in the diary or what he was trying to write, Charu could not understand anything. It could also have happened that he was going to write the accounts of the office money.
After that he didn’t even ask Milan any question. She got up quietly and went to her room.
Milan was liked by every member of Charu’s family.
Once his elder sister even said, “If you get married to Milan, then you two will be a beautiful couple!”
Charu liked Didi’s words very much, but she could not understand why Milan wanted to explain her words instead of understanding her seriously!
Whenever Charu took the initiative, Milan’s answer would have been, “Friendship is a different thing and marriage is a different thing.”
‘Maybe Milan is right,’ Charu began to console herself.
Then it came to mind that by now Milan might have returned to the room.
She got up reluctantly and went to the meeting room. The room was empty. Milan did not return to the room. The pen stuck in the diary was still on the table.
He picked up the diary on the table. He opened the page where the pen was stuck. His name was written on the margins – Charu.
Charu is deeply shocked to see her name on the margins. She began to think, why did Milan write her name on the margins instead of writing it on the page? A fierce battle broke out between his heart and mind. The heart would say ‘this is wrong,’ but the mind would say, ‘right on the margins, got a place somewhere. Today he has got a marginal place, maybe tomorrow his name will be on every page of the diary.’
When the meeting did not come for a long time, after putting the diary on the table again, Charu went out after packing up her work in unison.
He did not feel like doing any household work. He liked to sit alone.
Then he heard the brother talking to the mother, “What happened? Spoke to Charu?
“I haven’t talked to him yet. Tomorrow day after day is a holiday, then I will talk to him,” the mother deferred to the brother.
But Charu knew what the mother was going to talk to him?
At night, Charu used to sleep with her mother, but the mother did not talk to her at night, so she decided to sleep with her sister-in-law.
Mother also told sister-in-law to send Charu to my room, but sister-in-law handled the matter.
Sister-in-law said to the mother, “I think Charu is not feeling well, let him sleep in my room. Anyway, his brother has gone on tour, I will sleep alone.”
Mother agreed.
It was freezing cold. He had folded his legs in his stomach. He didn’t even know when he fell asleep. When the sister-in-law saw him shivering from the cold, she put a sheet over him. In the night he changed his side and straightened his legs, then the legs came out of the sheet. Charu thought, maybe she has not covered the sheet properly, so she picked up the sheet and wore it again. Yet his feet were sticking out of the sheet. Now he had no other option but to shrink and sleep. She slept the whole night shrinking in that sheet.
A thought came in his mind that the woman should not forget the habit of shrinking, perhaps that is why the society has shortened her sheet. To make Charu realize this, his family members also used this experiment on him. Would the sister-in-law not know that this sheet is small?
Seeing Charu’s red eyes in the morning, the sister-in-law asked, “Did there be any problem in the night, Charu?”
“No, I just couldn’t walk.”
“Anyway, women should not stretch their legs, they should stay within their limits.”
Sister-in-law got busy with her day-to-day work.
Charu understood that he had intentionally given her a small sheet. His ‘yes’ on the one hand was the happiness of the family and on the other hand he was heartbroken.
Both Charu’s ‘yes’ and ‘no’ conditions depended on Milan’s ‘yes’ and ‘no’.
He decided that soon he would have to decide whether to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
Milan was counting the money brought from the bank. Charu was looking at her silently. After some time he put all the cash in the locker and closing the safe said, “Yes, tell me what’s the matter?”
Charu said, “Milan, I want to hear your ‘yes’ or ‘no’.”
He said, “Charu, I am younger than my sister and brothers in my house. Before me, I have two elder brothers and one sister’s number. Suppose, if I marry him earlier, then problems will arise in front of my family members in the society.
He didn’t refuse, but didn’t say ‘yes’ either.
She thought maybe she was trying to spread her legs in a small sheet. She immediately remembered the night she spent in her sister-in-law’s room. Time compelled him. He included his will in the wishes of the family members.
She was married to Gazetted Officer Girish on the appointed time and date.
She was happy, but after coming to the office, old memories started coming back to Milan.
Time created the conditions. Circumstances were also such that could not be avoided.
Girish was transferred to Chhattisgarh due to the partition of the state. The husband was forced to leave.
When a person goes away, he also goes away from the heart. Perhaps this was the reason that Milan began to fill the void created by the absence of her husband. Husband used to come only once or twice a month. In those days, Charu would try to be normal, but after his departure, she would also feel free.
The vines need a solid base to climb up on. Charu was feeling like that creeper, union was a solid foundation in front of her, but for how long? This question stood before him.
Girish had probably realized that Charu was no longer giving him the importance he should have. That is why now he also extended the period of coming home instead of two months. In the presence of her husband, it became difficult for Charu to spend time with Milan.
With the passage of time, as the responsibilities of the household started increasing, the time for meeting in Charu’s life started decreasing.
After leaving the job, Charu had no reason to meet Milan.
As time passed by year after year, the picture of union in Charu’s mind became blurred.
When Charu brought Milan’s diary to her wardrobe, she herself did not even remember.
Years later, when Charu was again cleaning her wardrobe, she found Milan’s old diary.
He opened it and saw that the whole diary was empty. Only the point of placing the tip of the pen was visible in the middle of each page, which gave the feeling that the person tried to write something by holding the pen for a long time, but due to lack of courage, the margin of each page Could write only Charu’s name.
Charu was angry with Milan’s decision, but was glad that she got a place, even on the margins. Taking a deep breath, he closed the last page of the diary.
– Pushpa Bhatia
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